i was talking to mama one time. she said she was on the phone with this girl who's begging to take her daughter and give her a good life. mama simply said, "anong klaseng nanay ka? ako, mawala na saken lahat wag lang mga anak ko." suddenly, i felt my eyes just welling up with unshed tears. (i was in my desk so i had to keep it in haha) i felt so loved with those words. we're not very demonstrative in our family so however indirect it may seem, it just cut right through me. i know that inspite of her strong facade, she's hurt inside. i wish i could just be with her and share her pain.

birthday greets

happy birthday mamuy! aka rosario (RIP)

happy birthday aya! (aka rio rossa)

that's where aya got her name, rio rossa... from rosario. even though mamuy is not here with us anymore, her memories will always live in our hearts.. at times when i really miss her, i talk to her before going to bed. im the eldest grandchild and so i have the most moments with her.

i recall there are mornings in obrero where mamuy would prepare coffee for me coz i wouldnt drink hot choco. the coffee is too hot though so she had to cool it down by pouring it in a large bowl, stir it and blowing on it, and finally transfer it again to the cup. it was just perfect. smooth, creamy, rich taste of coffee with milk. hehehe when our family moved out, we would regularly visit obrero and have lunch/dinner there. on some nights, i would persuade mamuy to cook sinigang sa santol. i didnt know anyone else who cooks sinigang this way. it still has the sour taste and a bit of sweetness to balance the soup. just plain comfort food. =) everytime i would go back to hongkong, she would have this pabaon for me. i had to refuse though to maintain some pride. hahaha but now, mamuy, if you can hear me.. i won't be shy, embarassed anymore.. anything left for me? hahaha

if mamuy was here, i would've gone home and celebrated her birthday with her, with or without a party. every year, coz of mama's nagging, i see to it that im home. now, im thankful she got me to do that. i guess the only regret was not being able to talk to her in her final days. i thought then, that she would come out of whatever she's feeling, like she always does.

~~~ REST IN PEACE, TITA CORY ~~~

facebook: message of the day

Ria got a message that on this day, God wants her to know...

... that every little part of you is magical.

Yes, even the parts that hurt, even the ones that are feeling disease right now. It's alright to love what is in pain. More than alright, that's exactly where your love is needed the most. So why not touch that part that hurts and smile at it, at yourself through it, and whisper: ''I love you.''

i got this message from facebook.. just coincidental with my previous post. i haven't actually said "i love you" to myself. i show my love in different ways - by giving myself gifts. hahaha in this way, though, my wallet is hurting.

jdrama: zettai kareshi

zettai kareshi (absolute boyfriend) is a jdrama recommended by my friend and is also on top of the list in mysoju.com. it's about a robot lover who came into riiko's life. this created a triangle with riiko's boss, soshi. can a machine really give your heart's desires? here's a song from the series. "okaeri" is the song by ayaka, who coincidentally is now the wife of soshi. awwww

okaeri, for me is a song that basically tells us that home is where your heart is. it's always nice to feel at home, right? to know that you belong and you are loved.

i can't wait to be home.

"michael"

went to kuya j's housewarming one block away from my place. i took it upon myself to bring dessert and make arrangements with the priest. this is actually the second time i contacted father midas. i felt at ease with him.. everyone does in the parish, i believe. he's the parish priest in St. Joseph's Church in central where a lot of Filipinos attend mass. he's an SVD priest - the congregation of St arnold janssen. and of course, our patron in my alma mater - holy spirit. hehehe (ayun, kaya pala... feeling close!) i have always wondered what it would be like to have a priest as a mentor. maybe, i would be closer to God? maybe i would have someone to pray for me? maybe he can give me words of wisdom when my mind is full of crap. hahaha

da King of pOp
news of michael jackson's death still flood the www. all over , you will find the articles, videos reminiscing the life of the king of pop. as MJ once said, “I hope people will look at me also as a person and not just as a personality.” it's such a humble wish for people of great stature. once you reach a point where everyone looks up to you.. somehow you seem to lose that sense of self --- that of being just you, without the adornments of fame and fortune.

***have you noticed some of the great names in history are named michael -- jackson, jordan, schumacher, scofield. hahaha

delamar's brain farts

i was inspired by del's may 11 post in her blog....

• "you just want someone to be on your side…maybe not to fight for you but just to be there to hold your hand when you’re done fighting for yourself…"
  
• "like an outsider looking in when I see how happy my friends are..."
  

she speaks so openly and direct.  that's just so brave of her.  to open one's self to vulnerability.  to expose yourself to the entire blogosphere your emotions.  to recognize that you're lonely amidst the love of people who surrounds you because you know you yearn for more.  in spite of all this, she maintains a happy disposition, dealing with whatever life throws at her, knowing that happiness is now a choice.  

mothers' day

first off...

HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY TO ALL THE MOTHERS

especially those dear to me... mama, my aunts: chit, stelly, vicky, flor, angie (she's like our "mom" for being there for us), my fwends: gewi, vero, borjy, gcel, ate ai, ate caryl, tita harriet.... i could go on and on.. this goes out to all the women, who gave life, risking their own at some point, to let another person see how wonderful our world is... 

to my own mudra.. THANK YOU, even though sometimes, uhm, most of the times when we do talk, our point of conversation is always money,  i know that you're only concerned for my future.  i cannot grasp how you can take other's problems as your own (and pass it on to me.. haha).  maybe it's just your selfless nature.   if i can only confidently tell you to quit working and retire now, i would but i couldnt.  i dont know how our family would be if you dont do what you're doing right now.  someday soon, i'd like to share in your (non-financial haha) responsibility to somehow ease your load.  for now, i only pray that you have enough strength to carry on.  i HEART you, ma! 

manny pacquiao: TIME 100

yep... our very own, manny "pacman" pacquiao is IN.  time magazine's top 100 most influential people ranked him 22nd after Rain, korea's singing sensation.  with fans all over the world can't seem to get enough of him especially fresh from his winning streak over ricky hatton.  boxing, or non-boxing fan, we are proud, of course, as filipinos.  it's just that... he's trying to enter politics... again.  it might just complicate things for him and corrupt his ways.  still , we'll never know what he can bring to the table.  maybe he can knock out some sense in to those politicians?  sa ring na naten pag usapan yan... hehehe

TIME's full list is linked HERE.

dont read: uninteresting

im thinking what my cousin commented... no interesting entries, huh?!?! does that mean i have a booooring life? me thinks again.  what constitute interesting posts?  you tell me.  fact is, im trying to come up with one.. based on my life.. but seems i cant!  hahaha i guess if ive done bungee jump in macau, skydive in aussie, scuba diving in pinas, or belly dancing or camel-ride in dubai, THEN i will let you know.  

im still in some kind of limbo and it doesnt feel good.  one moment you're fine.. suffocating the next.  they say, "think that you're happy... and you will be."  i'd like to live by this one-liner. life is short.  you cant take back time.  here in hk, i really feel time flies fast (same sentiments from my peers).  i dont know why is that so, but i just noticed it by comparing being here and in pinas.  they say coz here, we do everything by ourselves - from thinking of what to eat for dinner (plus if you have to cook it pa) to what to eat for breakfast (plus you have to drop by the un-friendly bakeshop nearby).  back to the one-liner... at times, it works... some times, it just doesn't.  like a fragile glass, im holding on to happy thoughts, memories to keep me strong and whole.  i dont wanna rant coz GOd might hear me. hehe  i have a good life.  i am grateful.  i hope HE wont take it against me if there are times i ask him for some more.  so when im really in that slump... i turn on to chico and del for immediate relief. hahaha

carpe diem!

are you a mother or a wife first?

"im a wife first...because only by having a good relationship with my partner can we together create a better environment for our child. "  simply... wise.   the cliche is being a parent first and having your life revolve around your kid.  what we overlooked is that the relationship between a husband and wife is the basic foundation of love to nurture one's child.  this is just a different angle of seeing a woman's role in the family.  

thanks to chico and delamar for such words of wisdom.  hehehe

hana yori dango final

i looooove hana yori dango series. i completed all the season episodes. not surprisingly i had to watch the movie... the story goes with the domyoji tsukasa manning their great empire and announcing to the world his engagement to makino tsukushi. poor makino and family - now the center of the news all over japan - had to adapt to the lavish lifestyle of the domyojis. as pre-wedding gift, makino was given a bejeweled tiara, a prized possession of the domyoji clan. unknowingly, the couple didnt know that this tiara is the way to test their love for each other. traveling to the US in las vegas, to hongkong, to a southern island, the young lovers journeyed together to find the stolen jewel only to discover the real treasure they are looking for is right before them. simple, right. but sometimes, blessings are just too close for the eyes to see, too easy to get to value it's worth. in the end, they realized how much more they love each other because of the ordeals they dealt with. i looooove matsu jun (domyoji tsukasa) with his black wavy hair, kinda pouty lips and strong yet fragile character. i like hanazawa rui's mystery; the support from soujiro and akira also help to complete the formidable F4. damn, these japs are hot! hahaha anyways, in the end, makino and tsukasa bore a child... and that's a wrap!

reminds me of judith mcnaught novels - a more subtle one though - where the guy is very dominant, the girl is meek... at first. and in the middle, their strong characters clash yet beneath what they exude is that sense of vulnerability to the one they love.

awww love.. it feels good to fall in love all over. you never get tired of it, even if you know it just leads you to heartbreak. nyahahaha well, you just don't give up on that coz someday, somehow it will be your turn (to break other's hearts hahaha)

*make love not war*

mamuy: 40 days

miss you mamuy!  we know you're in a much better place and we'll all be seeing each other someday. in the meantime, si mavic na muna ang "bahala sa bahay mo."  =p

gossip girl is back

"sometimes fate throws two lovers together only to rip them apart"

why oh why do you have to do that?!?!?!  it's just too much to play around with people's emotions.  too much drama eh?  finally, gossip girl is back.  after X weeks, i got to stream the latest episode of season 2.  in spite of the series, trying to have a high school-ish setting, the story is still real - for more adult people hehe it's like melrose place with a vengeance. hahaha

i learned to like blair coz even if she's a biatch, when she cares, she's all heart.  i can't wait for the next episode, especially now that chuck FINALLY realizes who he should give his heart.  it took a wrong girl for him to know that! i know it won't be an easy road for him to win blair back.  he's just gotta put up with the challenge.  go fight and win, chuck bass!

heroes... and the like

in this time of crisis, we welcome (rich)people's help whenever they extend one. in forbes 48 heroes of philantrophy, we're honored that a few are pinoys.  huwaw! 

• manny pangilinan - PLDT chairman
  
• ramon aboitiz - aboitiz foundation chairman
  
• henry sy - SM malls magnate
  
• alfonso yuchengco - yuchengco group chairman
  

on the right is li ka-shing, hongkong's richest person, who is also included in the list for giving over $1 billion to charity during his lifetime. his works include donating to the university of hongkong and sichuan quake victims.  

it's endearing to know that they share their blessings in more ways... so i say, carry on!  

mga kababayan ko... 

francis m's untimely demise is still a shock to everyone.  though we know that he's already afflicted with the big C, one can never be prepared for the death of a loved one.  life is really short.  you can never tell when it's your time.  things happen to the healthiest people, what more to those who are sick.  let's just live life as well as we could.  carpe diem!

(photo courtesy of forbes.com)

*****

i woke up sunday morning feeling so light. it feels like i've fallen in love for the first time. hahaha i know! but i just had to share it. it's such a welcoming disposition. not that im not grateful or happy with what i have right now. i dont know where it came from coz there's no specific person or event that happened recently that evoked such emotion. maybe nakulitan na si God saken, sa prayers ko. haha

siguro it's HIS way of telling me na im not alone. that i will always have HIM. i know i do. =)

*****

i find solace in being alone. in doing my daily routine, over and over. i find rest in boredom. why? maybe coz the robotic approach to life shields me from any feeling i wouldnt wanna entertain under a normal state. i have a lot of ME time but i usually keep myself distracted by surfing the net, watching tv, trying to cook. these are part of my routine already. there's comfort, somehow.

management 101

some words of wisdom to keep us up on our feet...

------------------------------------------------------------------
Lesson No.1

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.A small rabbit saw
the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"

The crow answered: " Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and
rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on
the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing,
you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson No.2

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey,
"but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my
droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough
strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Management Lesson: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.


Lesson No.3

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss.The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions." The feet said, " We should
be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go." The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money." And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss.

Management Lesson: You don't need brains to be a Boss - any asshole will do.


Lesson No.4

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung,it began to
realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat
discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!

Management Lesson:

1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.

2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your
friend.

3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!