Sunday, July 27, 2008

just tired

of what? can't say. all i know is that pag natatahimik na lang ako or when i get idle even for a while. i find myself exhausted. guess, you may say may halong OA na lang din.. hahaha that's why i want to keep myself busy, distracted so i don't have to entertain any other thoughts. it's been 3 years since i've left home to try my luck abroad. now, i don't what i have achieved or IF i achieved anything. i gained a lot of experiences, realizations living on my own. i learned things about myself that i didn't know before. of course, i get bouts of loneliness, being alone. but when i think that there are lots of people who are in a sadder disposition, i would quickly tilt my head back and do something else. feeling ko wala akong right to complain about my life. i should be thankful. some fwends say they admired me - coz im able to live on my own.. and im still here. sane. those words are pats on my back. it's as if, im doing something right. feeling ko i'm strong. coz i'm able to endure the loneliness and being homesick. if they only knew! there are times, i think of packing my bags and heading off some place. it's tiring to always put on a strong facade, when inside you know you also need some assurance that things will get better. hmm, but why put up? because it's a logical and practical way to survive and be on top of everything else.

i'm tired, but it's ok. =)

Thursday, July 24, 2008


i missed blogging.. even though i dont have that much stories or (mis)adventures to tell. my 2nd hand NEC versa notebook broke down and i was nearly contemplating on buying a new one... until i realized it's out of my budget coz of some unexpected expenses. so, that new macbook pro will have to wait until christmas (?) yeah right!

i basically rely on the internet to keep me updated on the latest happenings and events back home and even with fwends. i barely watch tv, not even open the news to see local channels. i thought, damn! now, i have more time on my hands. and so, i'd rather stay in the office to do my surfing. (talgang hindi work eh noh?) most of my idle time at home i spend playing my DS - ouendan! and finally... i finished it! wuhooo (well the average category) now, im trying my hand at the difficult range.

when you're left idle, you tend to attract different kinds of thoughts, and im not the type to fully plan what will (or should) happen in the coming years. but i know, i should. NOW. this should be in a different entry....

*sigh* well, im just glad to be back.