thinking X times

im quite confused lately. why am i having second thoughts about leaving? ive thought long and hard about this decision and suddenly, a few days before my impending leave, here i am, thinking twice. fact is, i have nowhere definite to go. all i know is i want to recharge first. arrange a few personal matters while looking for a job in a company that i would hopefully retire in. that's me planning long-term. 2 offers are presented to me now. both in the same group of companies. job responsibilities-wise, they seem to fit the direction i want to go to. that's just the basic consideration. others have to be agreed on, still like compensation (very important ar). my other factor is, i want to be home for mama's bday. meaning, i can only start to work again in hk by May. i dont know if this is ok with the boss. im still gathering my options but i should be deciding soon. if all else fails though, i will stick to my original plan.

im torn with leaving and accepting either of the 2 offers because 1) i dont have to go through the trouble of finding work elsewhere 2) im dont have to be penniless and idle for some time 3) i can continue with my working visa and hopefully until i get the PR. the reasons are valid though i guess i have some priorities set out, and career is secondary. i miss my lifestyle in pinas where work is only in the office and weekdays. outside the office activities means hanging out with fwends to unwind, travel to different places, spend time with family. when i log in to facebook and see my cousins all grown up, i feel that we can relate more now than ever. it's like they grew up without me knowing. i used to carry them around and now, they're all taller than me and can carry me with those buff bodies. oh, how i would enjoy having a drinking session with them. hahaha!

i want to make a sound choice to make the least regret when i look back on this day. i just want to do things that will make me happy vs having security , stability in my career. if i can just find the same security in pinas.. or sg. i wouldn't be thinking twice now. in the coming days, as i talk with the company about their offer, i'll know if we can agree on sumthin. if the offer doesnt sound good to me, then it's really time to go. let's see what the coming days has in store for me. what to do? what to do?

Lord, help me set my priorities right. Grant me the grace to put You above all else for it is only in You that I will become truly satisfied and abundant.