just tired

of what? can't say. all i know is that pag natatahimik na lang ako or when i get idle even for a while. i find myself exhausted. guess, you may say may halong OA na lang din.. hahaha that's why i want to keep myself busy, distracted so i don't have to entertain any other thoughts. it's been 3 years since i've left home to try my luck abroad. now, i don't what i have achieved or IF i achieved anything. i gained a lot of experiences, realizations living on my own. i learned things about myself that i didn't know before. of course, i get bouts of loneliness, being alone. but when i think that there are lots of people who are in a sadder disposition, i would quickly tilt my head back and do something else. feeling ko wala akong right to complain about my life. i should be thankful. some fwends say they admired me - coz im able to live on my own.. and im still here. sane. those words are pats on my back. it's as if, im doing something right. feeling ko i'm strong. coz i'm able to endure the loneliness and being homesick. if they only knew! there are times, i think of packing my bags and heading off some place. it's tiring to always put on a strong facade, when inside you know you also need some assurance that things will get better. hmm, but why put up? because it's a logical and practical way to survive and be on top of everything else.

i'm tired, but it's ok. =)