i listed down my paranoia -- things that would just get me panicky inside. and out eventually. i would just lose my guard and feel all the more helpless.
- leaving the flat without my keys... AND phone
- leaving the flat without my keys
- boarding the bus without money
- traveling without my passport/ticket
- having my credit card declined or won't get any reply from VISA or the issuer (with no money on hand to spare)
items 2 and 3 already happened to me... item 3, not so long ago... and i felt so embarrassed!
i boarded the bus on the way to work, tapped my Octopus card to the reader. *one long beep* with red light. meaning, i have negative balance in my card. i searched for my wallet, tried to find some loose change (you have to give exact fare as the drivers don't give you change). bus fare is 5.7hkd. i found 4.7hkd total. i was hurriedly looking for 1 more dollar. just one more. please.
unluckily, i found none. i tried to talk to the driver if he can let that 1hkd go... but not surprisingly, he ignored me... or he didnt understand? i thought of asking 1hkd from the other passengers, but didn't push through with it. then the bus stopped and the doors opened. i didnt see any bus stop nearby. i warily talked to the driver, "you want me to go down from the bus now?". with eyes like that of a feeble child, i silently hoped he would say no. (but then again, maybe he didn't understand what i said.) rather than be forced out of the bus in broad daylight in front of many people, i volunteered to alight and find another means to go to work.
i was SO embarrassed! one of my paranoia came true again. hopefully, i'd be more in control, more organized next time.
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